New Beginnings…

     After a little bit of deliberation on my part, and the kind suggestions of my peers, I decided a blog that outlined some more personal thoughts was definitely in order; not only because of the new year, but a change is happening in my life that was not on some sort of resolution: it simply is my new resolution for life. It is my hopes that my blog can get all of my readers thinking while feeling encourage, and the same time help me to organize my own thoughts clearly enough that I can be meditating on these things more (Psalm 1:1-3).

For someone who loves to enjoy nature and see the beauty God has bestowed in what He originally called “good” in Genesis, the thoughts flow freely about God’s Word. I read these verses and ponder what that kind of life looks like.

     There is a tree that stands tall and strong directly outside the window next to my desk. Recently, God has been allowing me to think about that tree. Its roots grow deep, firmly planted in the ground. It has no doubt seen its share of storms, but it never worries that it will topple at any second because of the strong anchor that holds it down. It was also planted, whether by human hand or natural causes, it was planted. Really think about that. Someone cared for it enough to care for it and provide an abundant source of nutrients and water. And because of these consistent nutrients being pumped from the root all the way up to the vines, this tree is never lacking evidence of the input. God promises that whatever this person does, who meditates on the law of the Lord and finds a deep-seated satisfaction and delight from it, will not only flourish in everything they do, but provide fruit, shelter, and a testament to those around. Jesus said that He is the root, and we are the branches (John 15:4-5). Our source of nutrients come from Him alone. Being “planted by rivers of water” sure testifies of what Jesus told the Samaritan woman at the well: “the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life,” never to thirst again. Life will leave you with an insatiable hunger that cannot be filled with anything else, that is what I can testify in my own life.

     I tried living my life draining whatever nutrients I could find in what I thought would fulfill me. God shows His mercy so much to those who do not deserve it. There is a reason for that, because we would do what is in our innate human, sinful nature to take the glory for ourselves in the change that occurs. He was willing to ask Pharaoh ten times to heed His command, but he hardened His heart. Unfortunately, I was never willing to change. Did I desire change? Most definitely! But was I willing to give up what I thought was my source of happiness? No… So I lived with that for so many years, hoping that after each destroyed relationship, each time of confrontation and confession, and each time of earnest seeking of change, my life would magically transform without ever letting God have complete lordship over my heart. That was a tragic mistake, to say the least. Circumstances were being orchestrated so that God could finally get me to a place that I could no longer resist His will. He tends to do that with those He loves, and how thankful I am of His mercy and grace!

     My heart had been longing for a deeper relationship with Christ, but I could no longer pinpoint what was going wrong. I had numbed myself, seared my conscience—as Paul tells Timothy—until I could no longer hear what the Holy Spirit was saying. My heart cried out, and I knew something had to be done. I figured since I had this opportunity to be in Malaysia, away from what I was familiar with, maybe God would show me something different. I never knew what I was getting myself into…

     With a trip to Japan, I finally felt God calling me in a way that I had no experienced in a long time: He was calling me to bring His love to Japan. If God said I was going to be that person, I wasn’t going to argue with it, but I did know one thing for sure: I was not prepared spiritually for that kind of mission. So I cried out desperately for help from God to change me into that type of person who could accomplish His will. He is faithful in what we ask of Him! “For our God is a consuming fire.” Hebrews 12:29. I was foolish enough to respond in the same old ways that I was accustomed to: sucking the nutrients from people around me. God’s Word and love had stopped becoming that source of life, and my passion for life died with it. Not until God radically confronted me about these sins did I realize how much needed to be changed and repented of… Since all of this happened, I have been relearning what it means to be a tree planted in the solid rock of Jesus Christ, unmoved by the tempests of life. There is a fire in my soul like never before to live each day for God, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and become closer to God than ever before.

     Here is a saying that I used to hear several of my old youth pastors say, hoping it would never be me. “Many men perish because they miss eternity by a mere eight inches, the distance between the brain and the heart. They know all there is to know to be saved, yet never believe it, live in it, and apply it.” Unfortunately it did describe me, but there is hope for that to change! It has no longer become a prayer of, “Lord, what actions must I modify to be more like you?” God has transformed it into, “Lord, draw me closer to You in every way. As I become closer, it is only natural that the fruit be borne from the nutrients; become my sustenance every moment.”

     I close with my life verse, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed (literally from the Greek, “metamorphose”) through the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2

     (It’s amazing that since I wrote this last night, the sermon this morning covered a lot of this!)

     I pray that through the constant communion with God, walking beside Him in every step of life, He would transform my thinking so that I am longer the person I was.

“…but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 3:13-14